


Father's Day

by VOD_Fanfic (VOD_Spark)



Series: The Umbrella Academy ---> My Verse [4]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bowling Alley Revisitation, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Fake/Mild Sexual Tension, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Klaus Hargreeves Being Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves Is A Devious Shit, M/M, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 10:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18071252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VOD_Spark/pseuds/VOD_Fanfic
Summary: “Nope, not happenin’,” Diego immediately declined, arms crossing guardedly over his chest, his head shaking from side to side.“Oh grow up. I need that information,” Diego snapped his frown towards Five, mildly insulted. “It’ll only be for a few minutes and it avoids making a scene and killing someone,”“I mean… how bad can it be?” Klaus questioned with a slightly higher pitch and Diego groaned to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose.“Don’t-... say that,” he didn't feel like jinxing their entire situation.





	Father's Day

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the Bowling Alley Scene towards the end of Umbrella Academy. I loved that they were mistaken for a couple and Five being their kid, and the fact that Diego didn't even correct her at all and just made a comment about Klaus not being his type. He didn't even deny it!!
> 
> I'm a fanboy/fangirl for this ship.

“Why are we back here?” Diego asked drily as he, Five and Klaus strode down the few steps to the seating area for one of the many empty bowling lanes. He eyed the room, counting the people and taking in the noise of heavy bowling balls ramming into pins, cheers following.

“Because we need _him,”_ he glanced towards seemingly younger brother, his gaze following the line of sight until he landed on the large woman and her kid from before. He frowned in question, a brow quirking. By _him,_ Diego assumed he meant the kid. What was his name… Benny?

“Kenny and his mom? Why?” Klaus spoke up as the three stopped and sat in a lane, the larger man of the three taking the seat that had a view of the exits and most of the civilians. _Kenny, that was it._ Kenny and his Mom, the woman that thought that he and Klaus were a thing the last time they were there.

“Her kid has information we need,” Five educated, having a seat where he could see the two directly, practically staring at the two. That still didn't explain why he and Klaus were there and he made that known by giving him an expectant look, Five blinking blankly before sighing. “And you two are here because you’re my dad’s,”

“Nope, not happenin’,” Diego immediately declined, arms crossing guardedly over his chest, his head shaking from side to side. It wasn't like they made it clear to her the last time that they weren’t together and were brother’s, but still, they could go about it differently and get information the ol’ fashioned way, Diego’s way.

“Oh grow up. I need that information,” Diego snapped his frown towards Five, mildly insulted. “It’ll only be for a few minutes and it avoids making a scene and killing someone,” yeah, because that made it better. He would have rather made a scene than this.

“I mean… how bad can it be?” Klaus questioned with a slightly higher pitch and Diego groaned to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Don’t-... say that,” he didn't feel like jinxing their entire situation. He pinched harder, growling to himself under his breath and huffing out his exasperation. He didn't need this. He would rather team up with Luther for Christ sake.

“C’mon,” Five called on them, Klaus patting his shoulder as he stood up and Diego huffed louder, dropping his head forward before forcing himself to stand up, following after the two. Once they were close enough, he felt an arm loop his own, Diego’s gaze snapping a glare to his side, catching his brother’s eye and eyeing him in question.

“What? We gotta play the part!” Klaus hissed quietly and managed to get that much closer, his shoulders sagging in resignation, reluctantly deciding to just play along with it and let it happen. They strode across the way and slowed as they reached the end lane, Klaus slowing them down until they were standing at their side.

“Hey,” Klaus greeted excitedly, forcing his grin and happy demeanour. Diego only nodded with a smaller smile, really putting in the effort to seem halfway decent in this situation. He wanted to leave and stab something so bad.

“Oh! Hi!” Kenny’s mom sat up and beamed, greeting them in a rush as she stood and frantically clapped her hands in pure glee. She clearly thought that they were talking to her to maybe play a game or hang out. “Are you here to bowl again, too?” she asked with a wide smile.

“Yeah, and… we were actually wondering if we could join you,” Klaus replied, thankfully doing all the talking and making it so Diego didn't have to strain himself acting all sweet and nice.

“Of course!” she beamed, clearly excited. Kenny seemed just as happy, standing there with a bowling ball in hand and a smile on his face, seeming ready to roll it down the lane with a kid his own age and get away from the adults.

“Go play with Kenny,” Klaus reached out and gently nudged their _son_ towards Kenny, Five giving them a _Watch it_ stare before grabbing a ball and heading towards the lane with the other kid. Diego huffed softly and glanced towards the woman as she stepped aside, letting them slip into the seats with Klaus still attached him.

They sat down, his brother being just too close for his liking, but he put up with it, sitting there and letting it happen as he convinced himself to when they were in their own booth. He forced his body to relax, gnawing on the inside of his mouth to distract himself, and eventually, his muscles did ease, Klaus’ arm lacing his own even more, drawing a soft sigh from his nose.

They sat there in silence for a while, the three of them focused on the two _kids_ playing with and against each other. From where they were, Diego could see Five talking to the other kid, making a few question motions that seemed to catch the others attention every so often. He honestly had no idea what they were meant to do. This wasn't a distraction plan. They were silent.

Diego subtly glanced beside him, the arm that Klaus had looped his own around lightly jabbing the other man in the ribs and catching his focus. He sat up slightly, the two sharing a quick look with Diego gesturing to the woman who hadn’t taken her eyes off of the boys.

“We actually-,” Klaus started, Kenny’s mom swiftly turning towards them with a smile. “-Wanted to come over to ask for some advice,” his brother mentioned with a surprising amount of seriousness to his tone as they sat there, still linked. Klaus crossed his legs and leant back against the seat and Diego, really making it seem like they were together.

“Oh, sure. How can I help you?” her smile dimmed some to make way for her mature side, Diego watching her closely like he would a target. For all they knew, _she_ could have had the information or she was the one behind whatever Five had been so stuck and interested in.

“Well… it’s little Aiden,” _Aiden?_ Diego blinked in confusion, it taking him a few seconds to realize that he had meant Five. Couldn’t very well call him by his number in public. _Good thinking._ “He’s been acting out and surely you remember the last we were here,” Yeah, the last time, Five had said something about chewing off his own foot. A disturbing moment, he’d admit.

“Yes, that was quite shocking,” Kenny’s mother nodded with a slightly put-off expression, seemingly remembering it clearly. She shifted back in her seat, turning slightly towards them whilst getting comfortable in her spot.

“He’s been acting like that for a while and we just-...” Klaus sniffed, feigning is worry and leant in on Diego, resting his head against his shoulder and even wiping one half of his face in his sleeve as if he were wiping a tear away. He had no real idea of what he should have done, so on a whim, he unlooped their arms and wound it around Klaus’ back, the two shifting closer with so much exasperation internally flooding him.

“I’m so sorry,” she gasped softly, her hand lifting to her chest and covering the spot above her heart, seeming saddened by the information. It was a wonder she believed his brother with how he overacted, but it only made him assume that she was highly gullible.

“Yeah, it’s bad,” Diego commented with default flatness to his tone, a huff following after his comment, at least giving a few words instead of staying silent. It might have tipped her off if he said nothing until they left.

“Have you tried counselling?” she shrugged in question before seemingly thinking of something that could be important. “I’m sorry to ask, but how’s your relationship behind closed doors?” she shifted closer to help towards making the conversation quieter because of it being something that would be spoken in private, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.

“Perfectly fine, amazing even,” Klaus smiled softly, seeming lackadaisical for a moment and almost daydreamy. “David’s such a romantic and the Sex. Is. Phenomenal,” immediately, Diego’s breath caught in his throat and he choked, having to detach his arm and double over as he was thrown into a coughing fit.

“Oh, wow,” the woman chuckled softly, Diego practically dying as he wretched and coughed up his lungs in his seat, a hand resting along his back and running up and down his spine to try and ease him.

“He’s okay,” Klaus commented, starting to lightly pat his back to help him out and eventually he managed to catch his breath, his face feeling hot and flushed from both what his brother said and the lung being hurled up.

“And,” she continued unsurely. “And your relationship with your son?” Diego cleared his throat harshly and sat back against the chair, feeling Klaus looping their arms again as he grew slag against the seat to try and breathe, greedily taking in oxygen.

“He was an Angel until this started, and nothing’s changed,” from his own memories, Five had never been an Angel. He had always been the bossy know-it-all with an attitude problem that even their Dad couldn’t fix. It took an almost-apocalypse to change him and even then, he hadn’t changed by much, if anything, he got worse, with a side of helpfulness in the smallest of doses.

“It could be puberty? I hear it can change a boy for a while until it settles,” the mother commented as though it could really be the answer. Diego, funnily enough, had heard Five complain about the second round of puberty while drunk and being carried by Luther from the library.

“He did say somethin’ about puberty the other day,” he joined in the conversation, his voice sounding just a tad rough after his coughing fit. He glanced towards the other two, eyeing them.

“He did?” Klaus questioned, shifting just slightly closer. At the time, Klaus had actually be taken hostage by those freaks in masks. To which he still felt completely guilty about. How the hell none of them knew was beyond him. Diego had always felt closer to Klaus than the others growing up and he felt ashamed by the fact that he had no clue and that he was left to their ministrations and torture.

“Yeah, but it was a fly by comment,” Diego shrugged, remembering the scene and it had been just that, a random comment that they all passed aside.

“Why didn't you tell me,” he blinked blankly at Klaus’ rhetorically question and quirked brow, a small smirk on his lips. Clearly, his brother had been enjoying this too much, though it was expected, the twisted little bastard. It gave him a thought that maybe he should get his own back for that coughing fit Klaus sent him into.

“Don’t look at me like that, Rob. Last time you did, you wound up gagged and tied to a bed,” he mentioned with a devious smirk and immediately, he saw Klaus’ eyes widen and his breath stutter softly through his slightly agape lips. Diego winked teasingly before casually getting comfortable in his seat.

“Well, there you go,” Kenny’s mom spoke up flusteredly, her cheeks red with an unnerved chuckle leaving her. “You just need to wait it out,” she grinned and sat back in her chair, the situation with _Aiden_ being pretty much dealt with.

And just in time. Diego glanced around, watching as the two returned to the booth, bowling balls coming through the shoot, one after another. Five headed straight for them, hands pocketed and a small smile gracing his lips, giving them the affirmation that he got what he wanted.

“Dads,” he greeted them drily as they reached them, standing there and waiting on the two _Dads’._ Diego internally scoffed after hearing it, finding it to be the most amusing thing that he had actually come out with in a while. He had taunting material now.

“Aiden,” Klaus greeted with a wider smile, Diego catching the twitch of thought of his face before he seemed to catch on and nodded curtly.

“Well, it was nice talking with you. I hope we can do this again,” Kenny’s mother beamed as she pushed herself to stand, grabbing her coat and bag along the way and slipping into it. “Bye-bye,” she waved casually while leaving the booth, still watching them with her wide grin.

“Bye,” Klaus waved enthusiastically, Diego giving a simple lift of his hand as his own wave as they left the area and headed towards the exit. He watched until they were really out of the building before turned his flat stare on Klaus, eyeing him. A moment later, his brother glanced towards him, about to say something when he noticed the stare and the bigger of the two gestured to the around him, the former addict's eyes lingering on the limbs before registering.

“Letting go,” he abruptly removed the linked arms, Diego finally able to stand up and have his space bubble back. He gave a stretch and rolled his shoulders, his back straining slightly from his earlier coughing fit. “That was unfair,” Klaus mentioned as they all left the booth, the two following after Five, who had said nothing as he headed towards the side door. Diego refilled through his thoughts for a moment before realizing what Klaus had meant, what he said about being tied up and the gag coming to mind.

“Says the guy that nearly made me choke to death,” he retorted amusedly, a genuinely smirk drawing at his lips due to the fact that he finally got under his brothers skin for once instead of it being the other way around, which tended to be most of the time that they were in the same room..

“Both of you shut up. You can bang each other later when I’m not around,” Five shot over his shoulder as they snuck out through the side door and headed towards Diego’s car across the way, Klaus almost skipping towards it before climbing in through the open back window.

“And what about your little date with Kenny, huh?” Diego countered, a bark of laughter being heard from inside the car as they reached it, Five rounding to the passenger side.

“I said shut up,” he barked back as he dropped into his seat, Diego climbing in with a smug grin, closing the door after he got comfortable and turned the engine over, kicking it into drive.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed. Please feel free to comment or just kudos, either get me motivated to write.


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